Questions

I've spent the better part of a week reflecting on my life as I've known it the last year. And like anyone would, I'm left wondering if I always paid attention to the areas in my life that needed it most, or was I too consumed by what "felt" right to realize what "is" right. In the last week I have been shown more love then anyone person deserves. I have also been given the trust of those who I have always thought trusted me the least....my parents.
I have been put to the test, questioned and condemned, and still I find myself standing. I was asked to prove myself to my parents and the world and all I have to say is....so far, so good. I have made mistakes in the past and there are those who would like to hold that over me as reason to condemn me now, but I am a different person from who I was a year ago and the mistakes made then do not resemble the situation at hand.
I have many questions, as I'm sure others out there do...all I know is that I live one day at a time. I still look to improve daily. I still love those who have hurt me, it's not in me to hate anyone. I don't mind proving myself to anyone...I'm doing a great job of it so far :) and I'm not going to let the anger and vindictive nature of others drag me down.
I owe so much to those who have stood by me, believed in me, and shown me love....Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you more then words can discribe.

Open wounds....

Is a miracle still miraculous if it’s not wanted or appreciated? I’m torn between to very real emotions….I want to be happy but how can I be?
My best friends have turned their backs on me.
One of the people I respect most in this world has erased me from his life…his blogs…his social world…everything.
I have met a wonderful man that daily helps heals that open wound and fills my life with laughter and happiness, but it doesn’t replace the hurt caused by knowing that I am actively being erased from the lives of some of the people I love most. How can memories, trials, and triumphs be erased so easily?
My life is on the brink of more BIG change and I’m excited about it…even if no one else is. I’ve hurt people I care deeply about and I don’t know how to fix it…I wish I could and I pray to God that each person could find it in themselves to forgive me. I shouldn’t feel bad for being happy…
I feel like moving away from those who seem to be erasing me anyway is the only logical decision. I’m moving after this semester, my life holds limitless opportunity and I’m not living up to that here. I want to move away, begin law school, and start my family.
My heart is crying out for closure at a time where it feels like I have none at all, just lingering questions and open wounds.