Slow Road to Recovery
Watching, longingly as they moved across the room together. Hand in hand they sat in the booth together and shared a menu, playing with each others hands as each scanned the options. Entranced by their apparent happiness I watched as they turned to each other and continued their "hand dance". Their fingers clinched together, he leaned in and kissed her forehead and a serene smile spread across her already content-looking face. They gazed into each others eyes and mouthed the words "I love you". I painfully turned away, sitting alone I lifted my book back to eyes. Reminding myself that I choose to sit alone, I think. Battling the want to leap from my chair and run into the arms of a stranger and cry out Love me. Make me whole and self-assured. Complete my broken self image, make me who you want me to be, and I'll love you forever!!!!
Fighting the urges of an addict, I remind myself, Your not in control. I close my eyes briefly to regain ground and perspective on why I'm sitting alone. Why it's okay to eat alone. Why it's okay to sit alone with my thoughts and my book and reflect on the Grace that God has given me. That thought regains my composure. I take a deep breath and silently repeat....God, make me whole. In you, I'm self-assured. In you, I find the pieces to complete my broken self image. Make me who You want me to be, and I love you....Forever...Amen.
Written By: Amber Needham after and interesting meal at the Acansa.....It's a slow road to recovery.
Fighting the urges of an addict, I remind myself, Your not in control. I close my eyes briefly to regain ground and perspective on why I'm sitting alone. Why it's okay to eat alone. Why it's okay to sit alone with my thoughts and my book and reflect on the Grace that God has given me. That thought regains my composure. I take a deep breath and silently repeat....God, make me whole. In you, I'm self-assured. In you, I find the pieces to complete my broken self image. Make me who You want me to be, and I love you....Forever...Amen.
Written By: Amber Needham after and interesting meal at the Acansa.....It's a slow road to recovery.
posted by Amber at 8:39 PM
3 Comments:
Incredible.
Keep doing this.
very powerful amber..
one one hand i dont believe God has created or intended most of us to be alone (without a "mate.") on the other hand to replace Him with a mate or the desire for one (or anything for that matter) is indeed sinful. so, just what exactly does God want for me? what's the plan? how much of "me" does He want me to exersize and where's the balance? i haven't found any complete answers yet and it's maddening but i've going to keep going... it's all i can do.
dont be a stranger
brian
this made me sad and slightly (but ever-so pleasantly) depressed. ya don't need a guy to complete you and another thing...this was at the Acansa, of all places!! A-can-sa. Go to a nice restaurant faun over guys and whatnot. anyhoo, loves ya!!!!!!!!!!!
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